My brother Hunter is heartless; he kills little innocent animals. He likes to go outside and shoot anything that moves, its pretty sick if you ask me. Today he went out and killed some cute little birds, then tried to show them off to the rest of the people in the house, when no one is interested. Hunters dad thinks its okay to kill everything because he hunts, traps, and stuff like that. I think that if it didn't do anything to you, leave it be. My mom doesn't like it either but, she barely speaks up and opens her mouth about it; though she usually opens her mouth about everything else. Ugh, in a matter of time I'm going to let hunters mouse loose in the house as payback to him (i have 3 cats), also his mouse bit a chunk of Katies mouses head out and its brain was exposed; his mouse deserves nothing. I hate hunting.

im so pissed

So, Jake came home from his sisters house today, because his grandmother was too busy to bring him home the day she picked him up. I think I've said before in one of my blogs that his family pushes him to see his other son Tyler; if not they do, they're always saying how he should be there for him and what not. Anyways, Jake came home with pictures his granny printed off of Tyler, seriously wtf. His family really need to give up on that whole situation, it's pretty much a loss cause. It pisses me off so bad, he has a family here that he is trying to take care of and support, we have two babies and we certainly don't need anyone elses; it may sound super selfish but I don't really care. Oh and on top of that, if some bitch that isn't even family gets to go to see Jakes mom before we do, I'm going to freak the fuck out. Does anyone even know how badly I want to go to Florida? obviously not. Jeesh, people piss me off, I just want to scream.

A couple of days ago I noticed that I was running out of nasal spray; for those of you who know me, it turned into a crisis. I told my mom that I was running out and she said she refused to pick me up some more because my addiction to it was too much, and that it's bad for me. So, last night when I was down to the last drop of it I pretty much was freaking out, I needed it so bad. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, it was horrible. I blew my nose I'd say about a dozen times within a 5 minute period for an hour. Jake was getting irritated with t because it was louder than his movie. I ended up having to take Robitussin cf and Tylenol PM just to get to sleep. Come this morning I was so stuffed up I still couldn't do anything, so mom went down to Rite Aid to get me some more delicious nasal spray; I knew she would cave in and wouldnt want to listen tome complain all day and night.

Alone + a stripper

So, I went to my friends house on Wednesday ad stayed the night and was
planning on going home the next day but I ended up staying another night
because it would have been too late to go home and the dog would have
woken everyone up. So the next day my mom said she could pick me up
which was Friday around 3pm; really she ended up being too busy, so I'm
on my third night away from home and I'm freaking out. My friend went to
her bfs house so I'm here all alone (except for the cat). My other
friend who just moved in here went to some girls house and said he would
be back. He ended up showing up like 9 hours later with some stripper
looking hoe so she could use the bathroom before they went out to a bar.
I told her that there were no hoes allowed here; little to say, she
wasn't impressed. I also looked at her and said "eww, don't talk to me",
she laughed nervously, lol. I tried to tell him that she was a hoe but
he said I always say that and he wouldn't believe me. Now he's going to
end up coming in at like 1am or later, drunk, waking me up and I'm going
to be pissed off. And I swear it, if that little hooker comes back here
I'm gonna knock her teeth right out the back of her head mark my words.
I'm bored, I miss my babies, I just want to be home with them and not
have to deal with any bullshit. Ugh, I need Jacob :(

I'm so irritated

So today, I'm irritated with everything. I just cant stand anyone or anything, besides Jill, Ray, Desirae, and Nolan. I feel like i need to get away but, I just came back. Simple little things like my laptop not being in reach when i want it, not having a full bottle of nasal spray, being too hot; all of the above really cheese me off. On top of being irritated by people, I've been having bad pain in my upper stomach and bad cramps. My body aches like its preparing it self for a baby, it feels real now, like i know its gonna happen sooner than later. My belly feels like its stretching to a size where its just going to rip apart, it hurts so bad. I also have a cough and when i breath it hurts my chest a little bit (Jake just had bronchitis) I'm so scared to get sick right now too. The last four days, my body aches all over it and never seems to get better, regardless of what i do. Well, that's it for now.

Current Happenings

So, lately a ton of stuff has been going on with me and my life. For starters my husband had a child from a previous "relationship", if you can even really call it that, I don't know. He mentioned to his mother that he wanted to be in the childs life and his mother thinks its a great idea; he hasn't been around for the whole first two years of his life, due to the stress of the childs mother who is completely off her rocker and incapable of taking care of a child. We have had so many bad run ins with her and it never seems to get better, I've even had to change my phone number twice to keep her from harassing my husband and I. I know it sounds selfish but, I don't want to have to deal with another child in my life on top of my existing two, plus he doesn't even know his father or myself. From what I've seen he lacks discipline and structure, that I don't want to have to teach him just for it not to be followed through in his home. Plus, the stress of his mom that comes along with him is something Jake (my husband) isn't willing to take, I don't think; I honestly don't think he could handle it. Jake has little to no patient with other kids, he does great with our son and is a fantastic dad but, he has been with him since birth so it's a little different. I don't know exactly what is going to happen with him and his kid but I hope it doesn't put a huge damper on our life, the last thing I need is something to mess up my marriage and ruin my babies lives.

So, another thing that has been going on is my best friend Raymond is back out of jail, and he is coming to live in the area, I'm super excited; but my husband is not. I haven't seen Ray in like months and months, I have missed him so much. I'm going to make an effort to get him and Jake to be friends again, they have a lot in common, and they both get along with my friends. I can't wait to have all my besties around at once, it will be nice.

Until my next post<3